I said it wouldn’t happen,
My career took a backseat after having kid(s).
Taking care of children and a career is hard.
Having kids and starting a career is quite the challenge.
When I found out I was pregnant I told myself nothing would change. I’d have the baby and a few months after I’d go back to working on my career. I convinced myself I didn’t have to give anything up or compromise, mostly because for months I had to listen to people tell me how I’d have to put my career to the side for the baby. I don’t enjoy people telling me what i need to do. I wanted to be that super mom who could do it all.
Then we had A.
Then I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.
Then I fought for my life.
Then I fought for my family.
And now I’m fighting for myself.
My career took a BIG backseat and for a while and it killed me inside. I stressed about it more than I care to admit. I would pull up Instagram and see my friends killing it with their kid-free lives. I let it consume me for a while. It ate at my passion and I grew a bit resentful. Then the excuses starting pouring in, which led to me getting no where in any sort of career. My postpartum depression only amplified my fears, reservations, and insecurities about it. But when I started seeing my therapist she asked what I thought was really holding me back.
I went to school for musical theatre and I had just spent 2 1/2 years doing nothing related to the arts. I was knees deep in all things kid-related. The thought of putting myself out there just seemed like a mountain too big to climb. How would I be able to go full force when I was running at about 20%? She suggested taking unnecessary things off my plate.
Get down to the foundation and build from there.
So that’s what I did. I cleared my plate and started from scratch. Each day I made a list of something to work on that would get me closer to my main goal. I asked for help when I needed it so as to not become overwhelmed. I let myself mourn the time I had lost from having A, and I didn’t feel guilty for it. Soon enough, my career became the priority in my life. And I embraced the fear!
In fact, I found a way to thrive on the fear. It makes me feel alive again, like this spark was suddenly ignited. And it’s exactly what I needed to push myself forward. Now I’m heading into the new year with a new mindset and a new mantra:
“You can’t build a great building upon a weak foundation.”
When the tasks become scary or overwhelming I bring myself back to the foundation. I search from within to find the strength to move forward. And I clear my plate as much as I can, which isn’t easy with children, but it is feasible. Lean on the people around you for strength and comfort. It’s not going to be easy, but that fear inside isn’t your enemy. It’s a took and a motivator!
Life might get in the way of your career. Just like your career might get in the way of life. But I strongly believe we can have our cake and eat it too, especially moms. We are the queens of multitasking after all ;).