For the past two years I’ve had it in my head that being a stay at home mom was the best option for my family. Everyone told me I would regret not being around for “The Firsts.” So I devoted most of my time to A, and have stayed home with her since she was born. But for the past two days I’ve worked in the city and I can’t tell you enough how much I have loved it! You see, I never got to walk through the door and hear that excited “MOM!” I’ve always been on the other end frantically waiting for my fiance to get home so I can go to the bathroom in peace. But on Tuesday, when I opened the door after a long day and A came running to me, my heart overflowed. It’s one of the first times over the past two years I have felt full. I reached the end of the day not needing a break from my child, and I was able to enjoy playing with her.
When I say that out loud it sounds terrible. You don’t enjoy every second of every day with your kid??? How dare you, Kimberlee! Here’s the thing…
I would shout that from the rooftops if I could. Hold on a second, going to scream that off my balcony.
I have beaten myself up over feeling this way for a long time, but being a stay at home mom just isn’t for me. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity, although in the beginning it was more out of necessity, but this role has outgrown me. What I’ve noticed most of all is A’s mood. She seems happier after a day of playing with other children in a structured environment. She has been tired at a normal hour, and I get a few hours with Tyler before we rush off to bed.